NOT Gay

never acted on a single one of those urges

Yes I grinded against another guy to pin them down and establish dominance. No, it totally isn’t gay.

“im not gay! im not gay!!”, i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob

You say that but have you considered he went to a all-boys boarding school?

I did all of those to some degree except catholic school. I’m straight. You know what I would say if I was in that guy’s situation? “lmao”

You know how much freedom I feel when the LGBT+ are free? Folks, it’s bigly ! I have a bone to pick with everyone who goes “fellas, is it gay to drink pink lemonade?” I want a world where you love who you love and do what you do. Cause I want to be in that arcade with the crane games where the people are wearing the LGBT pins waaaaaaay more than I want to pay $8 for a hotdog at a baseball game.