OrionsMask [he/him,any]
I said they are my closest friend, which was the entire basis of why I was hurt enough to post the interaction to begin with. You completely ignored that multiple times because it doesn’t matter to you, but it is the only point to me. I also asked you to disengage, which you have also ignored. So you know, I don’t feel you actually have been respectful at all.
Not sure how you expect me to react or what you and the other person thought you were bringing to the table. I was quite clearly uncomfortable with the way that you were speaking, yet you both chose to double down. My posting of this in a BIPOC thread has nothing to do with anything, you came to the defense of someone who gave the least supportive and most masturbatory response.
And what I’m trying to say is that I’m in a better position to understand whether they are a real racist or not than two random people online who have evaluated an entire person based on a handful of paragraphs about what they think about hiring practices.
I have context about them, like the fact that they have listened and supported me when I’ve been down about being in an all-white team more times than I can count, and commiserated about my treatment in said team. I know exactly how they would react if a non-white person they knew was actually discriminated against in practice, outside of a hypothetical discussion about diversity quotas. This is exactly the same as how some people will support the concepts of socialism when put into practice as long as you don’t use any of the keywords that they have been propagandised with, which will trigger a defensive pushback.
It’s disappointing and it’s a racist train of thought, but they are not a racist. And on the topic of disappointing, I came here to vent about an unfortunate situation with people who I thought could empathise, not to have someone I repeatedly described as “my closest friend” branded a racist. This isn’t Reddit, the answer to every shit take is not “they’re a bad person, cut them loose.” What did you and the other person think was going to happen? That I was going to drop my friendship because of your half-assed assessments?
Disengage. I’m extremely irritated that I’ve even had to justify my friendship to this degree.
Because they don’t act the same? I wouldn’t be such good friends with her if she actually behaved that way, she’s just got brainworms on this particular stance. Every white person you ever meet is going to have internal biases against POC because they’ve grown up in a world that dehumanises us and there are forces actively working to keep those biases in the forefronts of their minds. Hell, POC have biases against other POC. If I wrote off every person in my life who wasn’t some unattainable level of ‘pure,’ there would only be online liars left. Instead I choose to try to bring around people who are worth the effort.
Yeah, that’s my frustration with that line of logic too. Once again, I’ve known her for a very long time and know she’s a good person and isn’t actually a racist, that’s the reason why I say white American brainworms. They get pumped with that propaganda day in, day out. All the ‘woke’ nonsense, all the ‘DEI’ garbage that’s become popular in recent years which having a take like this this directly relates to. It doesn’t hurt any less though.
I quit Reddit cold turkey in the wake of the Ukraine war because it became insufferable, but very very occasionally I get the urge to check in like a recovering addict. Every single time it just makes me glad I stopped. Every. single. time. Reddit is legitimately cemented in my mind as pure self harm.
