Times are getting hard for us old cheese counterfeiters
Tarantella Napoletana playing as I’m hacking into the cheese database
“And now for the secret ingredient!”
adds the counterfeit Ids to the national database
a loud knock on the door
“Polizio, open up!”
“Mama-mia! They’re on to me!”
I burst through the door riding a giant cheese wheel, knocking them over, making my escape
“How about them meatballs!?”
If you can’t even tell the difference between a counterfeit cheese wheel and a real one, what are you doing with your life?
I JUST SOLD 4 KILOS OF FUCKING MORTADELA* AS HUELVA HAM** PEOPLE WILL EAT EVERYTHING
*I think its called bologna sausage in english
**Not really, it’s a polish meme, but people will really eat everything, especially new burgies
I think for most English speakers, “Mortadella Bologna” and “Bologna sausage” are separate things, with the latter being like a completely homogenous tube of meat slop, and anything that has actual bits and chunks of stuff separated inside of it getting called “Mortadella”.
Mortadella was banned for import to the US from the 1960’s to early 00’s, so there isn’t a very large cultural footprint here for it. Americans might (incorrectly) call it a “Summer Sausage” if not just think of it as gross bologna (they prefer the fat content of their cured meats to be obfuscated by the meat obelisk.)
I wonder how much a thousand sand grain sized edible microchips are on AliExpress…
It’s only parmesean if it’s from the parmesean reggiono of Italy otherwise it’s just sparkling romano.
