cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/2733818
I know that therians are not furries but I’m looking for any input I can get.
I’ve read through some of the top posts for r/therian. I have a vague understanding of otherkin in general but hadn’t heard of therians in particular. If my kid said they were a furry, I’d be well within my comfort zone. I fuck with furries. But this seems like people who feel they are trans-species and talk about having species dysphoria. I just don’t know what to make of it but I’m also trying to not overreact or let my snap judgements alienate my kid. I assume they feel like they’ve just had to come out to me, which is something I’ve gone out of my way to not make necessary in terms of gender and sexuality stuff. Just didn’t see this coming.
If the worst thing that happens is they enjoy making animal noises and spend more time out in nature, I’m super down. If they start experiencing alienation from their own identity because of this, I’m not sure what I’ll do.
they’re fine, high correlation with autism so being against therians is kind of an indicator of ableism a lot of the time.
Edit: If you’re concerned they’ll have alienation from their own body; I don’t think thinking of oneself as a dog-kin or cat-kin or something is enough to do that by itself. They’re either alienated due to other social influences (usually ableism or some other form of bigotry) which make them feel alienated, or they’ve got genuine reason to identify as such (autistic people specifically have good reason for both, given the sheer lack of empathy they get and the difficulty understanding the motivation of most NT people, AKA a massive portion of humanity). I think as long as we treat autistic people as somehow separate due to not having the “baseline” human experience, therians will continue to exist. And probably even afterward; Never underestimate someone’s ability to just think an animal is really, really cool
I’ve genuinely never heard of a therian doing self-harm due to species dysphoria so I don’t think it’s the slippery slope conservatives think it is. Once you reach the more abstract forms of dysphoria I feel like they start being expressions of more base forms represented in a way the sufferer can understand.
I think it might be best to have your kid explain how they’re feeling and why rather than the internet. Asking questions doesn’t have to be critical, it should be framed as accepting but also “I have no idea what you’re talking about and just want to know what’s going on.” Have your kid talk through their feelings with you without passing judgement. The internet might be able to paint in broad strokes how your kid is feeling/identifying, but only your kid can give you the specifics.
I also don’t want to make snap judgements and I’m trying not to be too critical but I remember being very into identifying as a half wolf/half man hybrid in like 4/5th grade and I’m sort of glad there were no communities out there to validate that because I probably would’ve just made that my identity at that point. But looking back I realize the reason I did that was probably because I had started feeling very outcasted around those years, like I didn’t fit in with my peers. By 7th grade the whole thing had receded as I began to make friends. So I don’t know, there’s validity to these things but there’s also deeper things that can be going on, and it’s good to talk with your kid to understand the specifics of their experience. But of course always be accepting and open, your kid needs to figure their identity out for themself, all you can really provide is guidance and an open ear.
(full disclosure though I say this as a non-parent who knows nothing about therians so I could be talking out my ass)
Hey - I haven’t posted on this webbed site in years but this post motivated me to crawl out of my lurk-cave.
I am not a Therian, but I am certainly an adjacent thing - I tend to just use the term ‘transspecies’ instead of therian because my particular form of species dysphoria has nothing to do with being an animal. If you have any questions at all, feel free to ask me them, even if they seem insensitive or something.
In contrast to the other commentator, I will say that there are a surprising amount of ‘based weirdo adults’ who are into this - it definitely is the kind of thing that is a phase for some folks, I won’t deny that, but for just as many it’s not. And I do have to wonder how many of those for whom it ended up being a phase only left such identification behind because it’s broadly socially viewed as completely non-serious and mocked by… basically every demographic.
Regarding your worries of your child ‘beginning to experience alienation from their own identity because of this’, while I do not know your child’s personal situation obviously, from my personal experience I would suggest that if they have come to identify as a Therian at all - some degree of alienation from their own identity probably already exists.
That’s how it was for me - I have always felt alienated from the concept of ‘humanity’ and of being a ‘human’, and coming upon the idea of being transspecies made that make sense, it provided an explanation, a label, a piece of identity in and of itself. If anything, it helped with the alienation, in the same way that realizing that I could be transgender helped with the dysphoria I had around that - it gave it a name, a reason, and once it had that, I could begin to process it and figure out how to really deal with it instead of just feeling ambiently Wrong and Alien for no clear reason.
For concrete advice, above anything else I would be supportive, but you seem to already understand that. As I said - if you have any specific questions of your own, feel free to ask - I would not mind answering at all.
Kids believe all sorts of shit. If it’s not causing dysfunction in their life, there’s probably no harm in letting them be a weirdo until they either grow out of it or become a based weirdo adult.
I’ve known teenagers calling themselves otherkin. I’ve never known a grown adult to. It doesn’t seem like sexuality or gender where it’s here for the long haul - just keep being a cool parent and let kids be kids and let them be little a cringe sometimes, as a treat. You can all laugh about it when you’re old.
I follow a 37 year old therian (I think?) on Mastodon. It’s an interesting concept. I’ve warmed up to the idea after reading about homuncular flexibility and sex abolition. We’re not hunter-gatherers anymore, so I can’t be too surprised that people feel estranged from their homo sapiens body. Just another example of modes of production making previous ways of being increasingly irrelevant. Kind of a shame that we’re at the level of technological development that we are. I do think eventually “humans” will encompass many “nonhuman” forms. Not a personal interest of mine, though.
I’ve known teenagers calling themselves otherkin. I’ve never known a grown adult to.
I’ve known a handful. They’re usually alright people.
Same here
People won’t often talk about it outside furry/therian/otherkin spaces just because it’s so incomprehensible to normals and at best no one will understand or take you seriously
Even online I often see therians who don’t identify themselves explicitly except through language and symbols only those in the community/adjacent communities will understand
Thankfully I think the therian-hating/otherkin-hating/“cringe compilation” era has mostly died with Gamergate… but these days I wouldn’t be surprised if it came back