The presidential candidate has faced previously undisclosed health issues, including a parasite that he said ate part of his brain.

So…we have 3 candidates for president, of which

-One claims a literal worm ate part of his brain

-One cannot get off more than 4 sentences before becoming incoherent, has been ruled to be unable to be tried due to poor memory, and cannot keep names or places straight

-One thinks humans have a finite amount of energy and has used this as reason to not exercise, claims wind turbines cause cancer

All are pro capitalist, xenophobic, racist, pro war goons

What variety

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51 points

One thinks humans have a finite amount of energy and has used this as reason to not exercise

has this man never heard of eating

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You think any of these dullards currently has the intellect to think end to end on anything?

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9 points

RFK thinks from one end to the other of that worm, for sure

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36 points

Afroman is running too!

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35 points

By far the most qualified candidate. gg ez

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20 points
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Deleted by creator
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11 points

That we know about.

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20 points

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16 points

Most important election of our lifetime Tm

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12 points

I legitimately cannot tell which one is which (only somewhat joking).

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Come on Jack, it’s your duty as a member of the voting public to know the candidates

Biden was NOT technically ‘declared unfit to stand trial’ as every liberal publication screamed about, but the special counsel did say this:

Hur’s report referred numerous times to Biden’s memory as “limited,” claiming the 81-year-old did not remember the dates of his vice presidency and when his son Beau died

“At trial, Mr Biden would likely present himself to a jury, as he did during our interview of him, as a sympathetic, well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory”…“It would be difficult to convince a jury that they should convict him — by then a former president well into his eighties — of a serious felony that requires a mental state of willfulness.”

I dunno, there’s a pretty thin line between ‘able to credibly convince people he is unable to stand trial’ and ‘is actually unable to stand trial’

Trump thought people worked like energizer batteries

Trump believed the human body was like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depleted

Also claims the noise from wind power causes cancer

If you have a windmill anywhere near your house, congratulations, your house just went down 75 percent in value. And they say the noise causes cancer

So which one will it be, the one who had a worm eating his brain, the one who is essentially considered unfit to stand trial due to memory issues, or the one who thinks people are like D cell batteries?

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Not true, you also have increasingly homophobic ancaps, guys who think Trump isn’t racist enough, and two socdems who could’ve just ran a unified campaign if they were smart about this shit

If you’re lucky you might have the PSL (or maybe the prohibition party if your state is awful enough and you’ve lost everything you have to irony poisoning)

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10 points

Capitalism leads to great variety due to its superior innovation.

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75 points

AND IT’S A DEAD WORM? I BET THE POOR GUY STARVED TO DEATH HAHAHAHA

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34 points

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11 points

Roasted

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54 points
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Three presidential candidates with serious brain health issues and are all nearly indistinguishable from each other on policy. Don’t you love democracy

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53 points

Folks the fake news comm exists for a re-

Wait WHAT? Literal brainworms is an actual headline?

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51 points

I think it’s time to take satire out back and shoot it. It can’t keep up.

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