90 points

I’ll walk out in front of traffic to own the woke moralists

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60 points

inshallah

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76 points

Wokeness is when people aren’t getting hit by cars

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Jordan Peterson would really OWN all of us if he stepped in front of an F350 going 93 mph

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32 points

Come on Jordan prove you aren’t woke and do it

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21 points

The longer that a car doesn’t annihilate your torso, the woker you are.

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62 points

getting run over by ford 150 to prove that i’m a real man and not woke

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they’re not pedestrians, they’re temporarily embarrassed monster truck drivers.

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7 points
*

Listen I’m as anti car as they come, but you offer me a monster truck and I will switch sides for as long as I have it

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48 points

He sure talks like a supervillain a lot.

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37 points

With his benzo habit, I’m looking forward to him becoming an anti woke SoundCloud rapper with a supervillain Schtick. He can team up with the cosplayer who designed captain ancap.

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JP becoming right wing MF Doom is both so stupid it couldn’t ever happen and so stupid it’s the only thing that could happen next.

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6 points

It would be so fucking funny, he could be a villain with a power to clean rooms (as a metaphor for society, his tragic failing being unable to become clean himself.

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9 points

Who thought the name Captain Ancap was any good in the first place? Say that out out. It’s a syllabic palindrome and just feels bad to say and sounds worse. Which is appropriate but like Ancapman. NAPtain Ancap would be at least sorta clever and give him a characteristic.

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6 points

I thought palindromes were good because it allows the reader to assume it was planned

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4 points

“Captain Ancap and Doctor Benzo” would be a good capeshit franchise.

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3 points

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45 points

What is the woke death? The fascist progrom?

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40 points

Famous antifascist sniper, the Woke Death

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44 points

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Hideo Kojima? hOw? i tHoUgHt yOu wErEn’t PoLiTiCaL? nOw yOu pArTiCiPaTe iN dA cUlTuRe wAr?

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“the woke death” is the name for my heavy metal cover of “Miss Pavlichenko”

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25 points

The female chaos dragon.

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21 points

When you wake up dead.

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the_dunk_tank

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