if I had to fight an animal I would simply use delaying tactics until capitalism destroyed its habitat
Chimpanzee is way too high on the list. That mother fucker will pull your nuts off. You ever *cough* see a hairless one? *cough* Jamie *cough* pull that shit *cough* up.
Most people underestimate how strong chimps are. They literally can pull your limbs off.
I’d rather fight a Gorilla than a Chimp. I’m fucked either way but a Gorilla has empathy.
There was atleast one case of a chimp ripping off someone’s face and eating their eyeballs, so yeah. No thanks.
Juvenile elephant vs. a fit, heavy adult American? I daresay the American would have a big advantage.
:rat-salute:
to the 20% of Yanks and Brits confident that either a rat or house cat would absolutely decimate them in a 1v1.
Those are the ones who’ve played D&D 3.5 and know that a house cat would wreck them.
Basically, a house cat as statted in the monster-manual has a 51% chance of killing your average unarmed commoner in 3.5 in combat, and even if the commoner survives, they will end up seriously injured. It’s among the many absurdities of trying to build a tabletop system that works on both a heroic and practical scale.
Another example is the so-called commoner-railgun, which uses the fact that handing someone within 1 meter of you an object is a free action, which means you can organize a long chain of commoners with a wooden pole and have them all ready the action of handing the next person in the chain the pole when it is handed to them. The last one simply lets go of the pole. The pole travels the full length of that chain in one turn, which is 6-seconds. That means for every 6 peasants in the chain, the pole is going an additional meter a second. Line up 120 peasants and they “fire” the pole at 20 m/s. A quarterstaff is 1.8kg. That means that our pole is delivering 36,000 newtons of force, which is about 12 times the amount of force needed to break a bone. That quarterstaff will probably kill you if it hits you. Now find a city and get 12,000 peasants lined up in the direction of another city. Now we’re talking about just shy of 4 million newtons of force. You’ve got a railgun.
i really get incredulous at that one. the others i can at least imagine weakspots for or at least some way you could feasibly disable them if you were very lucky. how do you even begin to incapacitate an elephant with no technological advantage whatsoever, let alone one thats fighting you?
A crocodile??? How on earth do you plan on harming a crocodile at all? It’s a fucking dinosaur bro.
Cobras yeah if you can grab it first then you just swing it around and about and against the floor until it’s basically just a sausage.
Kangaroos are deadly as fuck too. Like, between them and chimps, they’re both super aggressive and strong but a kangaroo has more range.
I think it comes down to the fact that a chimp is human like, so all the chokeholds and stuff like that are gonna work on it. I’m an avid chimp fan and I’m shit scared of them, and on the likely occasion that it beats you you’re gonna die a horrible death, but I feel like there’s a chance you get a chokehold on it from behind that it doesn’t have a clue how to defend itself from aside from flailing around aggressively. On the other hand, I have absolutely no idea how I’d go about putting a kangaroo in a rear naked choke.
Also there’s that true story about that guy who choked out a mountain lion. Obvs a mountain lion got nothin on a lion of the plains but still impressive.
I just think a chimp has never been put in a choke before and might panic, idk.
I still back myself odds wise over a chimp than a kangaroo
cos what the fuck am I meant to do to a kangaroo
You can subdue a croc with a piece of tape over its snout. They’re no way in hell you’re getting a chimp in a chokehold - they’re fast, smart and strong as fuck. They know how to hurt people which is why their go-to move is to bite your face, hands and balls.
If you look at the story about that lady in Connecticut who got her face and hands eaten by her neighbor’s pet chimp, the chimp’s owner tried to save the friend by repeatedly stabbing the chimp with a large kitchen knife. It didn’t slow him down at all.
yeah but you’re unarmed there’s no tape allowed
what’s your plan once you keep its jaws shut using your arms
crocs just gonna sit there until you starve to death
ya there’s even chimps that got shot and just kept on trucking but I just think chimps gonna panic when air stops going to his brain
I’m not saying it’s ever a favourable fight but I fancy my odds against a chimp more than I do a croc or a kangaroo
bro elephants only have like, two sharp bits, what are they even going to do
