People going to the UFC fight tomorrow have the potential to do the funniest thing in American history.

Don’t worry, that’s what lying on your resume is for!

All your work experience is now doubled and even after you’re laid off you’ll still put down that you’re employed so that your new employer thinks they’re stealing away excellent labor from their competition.

Don’t forget to add an extra major to your degree, (And if you don’t have one, add it anyways! Bonus points if you pick a school that’s currently closed down.), in some business bullshit that even a monkey with a typewriter could do.

Look up your real name on linkedin and see if anyone in your country with the same name as you has “accomplishments” you want. Steal those for your resume. Steal their references while you’re at it too!

All in a day’s work for the average bullshitter.

Hey There kiddos! Tommy Siegal here with an important message:

All of you little spoiled brat millennials sitting at your liberal coffee shops glugging down your white pumpkin cappuccinos or whatever the fuck you drink need to listen up to me, a wise Gen Xer!

Your cushy smushy work nude jobs can be done in different states, therefore you should spend thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours moving to a barren red state purely for electoral reasons.

I’m sure your employers will be 100% ok with you moving to a different state and never EVER want you to participate in in-person meetings or events. You’ll certainly be able to keep your job during a pandemic and incoming economic depression.

Once you move I’m sure your new conservative, rural neighbors will absolutely welcome you with open arms and befriend you as you radically change their political landscape and gentrify entire states, raising the cost of living significantly.

VOTE LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT, BECAUSE THAT’S ALL YOU’RE GOOD FOR. VOTE YOU BRATS. VOTING IS YOUR ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE YOU FUCKING MILLENNIAL SNOWFLAKES.

Your neoliberal frienemy,

Tommy Small Scholomy

Hexbear sounds like a witch bear, so uuuuuh how about…

URSULA

What a messy bitch, throwing shit out the windows like it’s a bad break up.

He’s been a shitty president but at least he’s making politicians fucking miserable on his way out. Time to break out the popcorn! :party-parrot-popcorn:

Can you even imagine Trump trying to live tweet to this?

It’s like binge watching a Marriott commercial.

Daaaaaamn, I didn’t know boomer hippies could be so spicy!

Degrowth: Bad.

Ruining the only planet we have for 30 extra years of luxury: Good.

I’m a very smart twitter poster. :meow-floppy:

Watched all the videos. :doomjak:

They have different times and perspectives. Here’s what happened along with some personal speculation.

• Video 1 is a cop cam of Tyre getting violently yanked out of the car and getting tazed and pepper sprayed before running for his dear life. Piece of shit cops are pissed afterwards because their aim was bad so some of it ends up being friendly fire. In later videos it becomes clear this was at least part of the motivation for killing him as they complain about him running after the beating.
• Video 2 is a private owned camera that got a top down view of the main beating and is probably the main footage that led to the cops being arrested before the footage was even made public.
• Video 3 is a cop that either forgot to turn his camera off or thought he was far enough from the beating for the footage not to be useful. It shows part of the beating from slightly closer than video 2 when the cop isn’t looking elsewhere.
• Video 4 is a cop actively participating in the beating but covers his camera manually during the beating. You can still hear Tyre crying for his life while the cops keep yelling lies about Tyre not putting his hands back (At this point in video 2 there’s already multiple cops on top of him.) I think it’s safe to assume this was going to be part of their cover story. The footage continues after Tyre is in critical condition as the cops flash lights at Tyre’s broken body, joke, complain about their minor injuries and come up with excuses as it becomes clear just how far their beatings went to backup on the scene.

Let me know if I got anything wrong and I can edit my comment. Also there are protests happening tonight and will continue this weekend being streamed, which I am currently watching to calm down a little.

I’m sorry… they’re charging him for PROPERTY DESTRUCTION but not for murder?

Fuck this country, I wouldn’t be shocked if a police station burns by the end of the week.