Biden wins this year and pardons Trump. Trump stages a successful coup and has Biden executed.

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28 points

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Bipartisanship

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spin baby spin!!

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Every capitalist dies from farting too hard

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Jeff Bezos shits himself to death on live T.V.

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20 points

united states collapses but then europe federates into the united states of europe with an almost identical constitution

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U! S! A!

U! S! E!

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9 points

USE vs. USSA The new cold war

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The first USE president is just like Ronald Reagan. He’s an actor, an idiot, old, and senile. The only exception is that he’s trilingual.

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Deleted by creator
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after the US collapses all of the white suburbanites flee to europe and vanguard this effort.

We may not even need the lathe for this one.

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US hogs could never deal with good public transit, cheap fresh food, and good espresso.

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THat’s why they establish the USE constitution, to take that away from you

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5 points

Okay anglo self-exile post-balkanization of Turtle Island would be so fucking funny

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8 points

The only difference is that the cheeseburgers are now made with baguettes and McDonald’s get renamed to ChezDonald.

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I’d do everything chuds say leftists will do. Schools will teach Marxism and ML theory. All teachers must be LGBTQ+ and can’t be white, or must demonstrate their allyship through concrete action and be approved after review by CRT experts. Anybody can get a no questions asked abortion at any point in their pregnancy. Anybody who has a gun and isn’t a leftist gets it taken away and given, along with their ammo, to a Palestinian. Landlords get their properties given to their tenants, and vacant apartments get given to the homeless. Child marriage is made illegal and the general age of consent is 18 minimum. Intentionally misgendering gets you sent to a re-education camp. Actually all acts and expressions of bigotry do. Free healthcare including gender affirming care. Land back. DEI. If they name it and it sounds based or at least funny, I’ll do it.

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11 points

My favourite was that Canada Post / USPS would ship ounces of weed via the mail. Shit that’s a good idea.

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11 points

Then George Soros sends us all a big juicy check.

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Right after I cash in my Xibucks

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I’m gonna get a sewing machine and a bunch of nice fabrics and learn how to make myself a whole new wardrobe with my Xibucks.

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What a lovely picture you painted in my mind. 💗

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I’m glad 🥰 I should write bloomer fiction.

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Child marriage is made illegal and the general age of consent is 18 minimum.

AGHH!! NOO!! LITERALLY COMMUNISM 1849!

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22 points

Azov/Right Sector accidentally release definitive proof that they fired on their own citizens during the Maidan after footage of it is included as B-roll for a pro-Ukraine propaganda video shared all over the internet by NAFO accounts.

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