DEAR MEN,

If you are married, and your wife goes to the gym but you don’t, I have to tell you something. At the end of the gym session, there is something some gyms call “warm down”, while others simply call it “stretch”.

Your wife will lie on the ground facing up, her arms spread in surrender, while the gym instructor stands between her legs.

He will then take one of her legs and streeeeeeetch it to the extreme end until she unleashes some sound that I can guarantee you has nothing to do with pain. He will then do the same to the other leg.

He will proceed to hold various parts of her anatomy and push and pull them widely like he paid dowry for her.

Then he will grab both legs together and push them towards her head, making her have this pose taken straight out of Satan’s adultery guidebook.

She will make that sound again!

You need to see what these women wear to the gym to understand this pose.

The institution of marriage is being burnt alive in these gyms.

When done, in a voice your wife has never used when talking to you, she will say goodbye to him and assure him that “kesho tutafanya ile ingine”. She will have a genuine smile and his fisi enzymes will be at their most aggressive.

As an elder, I must warn you that gym instructors are replacing us!

We either go to the gym with these ladies or ban gym visits altogether.

Don’t say the servant of the Lord didn’t warn you! #MasculinitySaturday