hey yall, how are yall doing this week? sorry for the late post i was up past 5 am talking to my friends. whats new with yall?
Woke up this morning twisted by grief and mourning. Something about looking back over my life and feeling the places where people were (deservingly) cut out. When you’re as good as me at taking a scalpel to your social ties, and burning that which doesn’t cut, what you can still remember of the past starts looking like an empty set.
I hate mourning the people who wronged me. Sitting there staring at my face in the mirror like “why are you still affected like this?”
I keep fighting white lib friends of friends on social media who want me to vote for a genocidal monster because Trump is rude and they’re more afraid of rudeness than someone massacring civilians. When I ask them why they don’t care about brown people’s lives they just dodge the question or ghost. Not a single one has responded so far. I just want the libs to publicly admit they’re racist scum
Honestly, this whole year has been a real doozy.
I… kinda hate election years now.
Admittedly, I kinda looked forward to 'em because at least something interesting was happening (and to be fair, interesting stuff did happen).
Now? I guess: no news is good news, at this point.
every bit of history I’ve learned recently just makes me want to punch a white person through the wall
Just paid a visit to the smithsonian african american history museum (which has its own host of problems) but the history from 1400 on is just a series of cruel bloodthirsty depredations one after another. It was a little bit depressing
It was very nice, and I was surprised that they had a large section on early to modern black power movements. It even mentioned COINTELPRO the assassinations of Hampton and other leaders, though there was no mention of the panthers’ nor the civil rights movement’s heavy ties to socialism. Spose its better than I expected
I’ve been hitting a point of “if we can’t have liberation, revenge is good too” lately.
I’m not for revenge, but I am for justice.
As long as the white bourgeois face justice, then I can let things pass.
But at the same token, I’m generally for multiracial unity.
Like, maybe it’s because the CPUSA emphasizes it so much and I’m apart of it.
I’m basically with Henry Winston on the issue.
I used to hate white people, but I’ve sorta viewed things in terms of cold logic, what gets us to revolution or a revolutionary movement quickest?
But, like, it seems that all the people that have attacked or wronged me in the past were mostly white.
Coincidence? I think not.
See, I consider Winston too assimilationist to rock with. Never could stomach it. From where I sit, we’re better off forming a state of our own-- because when in the last 400 years have the crackers proven themselves able stewards of us or our destiny? When in the last 400 years have the crackers proven they’ll EVER see us equally, or compensate us equally?
I consider him an idealist, p much.
Name a group and I shall try to recall a time where they kicked whitey butt. That helps me sometimes
as a mixed immigrant, is there ever a point where I’ll actually feel at home somewhere? moving to Australia at 5 years old, as a brown skinned south east asian kid, was a hell of a thing and the end result is not fitting in in my ‘home’ country (which it really is not), but also permanently feeling like you’re on the outside in the country you’ve lived in for decades
there’s a restlessness that’s hard to define
one day i’ll make art about it
as a mixed immigrant, is there ever a point where I’ll actually feel at home somewhere? moving to Australia at 5 years old, as a brown skinned south east asian kid, was a hell of a thing and the end result is not fitting in in my ‘home’ country (which it really is not), but also permanently feeling like you’re on the outside in the country you’ve lived in for decades
It’s quite ironic really… you’re actually geographically not that far from your homeland when in Australia… yet it’s quite isolating there, innit?
The effects of settler-colonialism…
i want to, and i’m trying but working all the time really do be getting me down and exhausted all the time
but still, i feel like i got something to say in me
Yes, for some people*
Plus if you’re from South India/Sri Lanka there’s a high likelihood you’ll get a called “aunty” by the people who have been here ~100,000 years, so that’s something too
*unfortunately for my mother in law I imagine this was the same point at which she found it completely acceptable to say unfathomably racist things in public
People called me “one fucked up hybrid” at one point for my mixed background.
Yeah, here I am with a diverse ancestry not knowing that this is the peak human form
I had a White dude the other day tell me I had “good bloodlines”.
That was the final red flag for me that he was probably a Nazi.
unfortunately for my mother in law I imagine this was the same point at which she found it completely acceptable to say unfathomably racist things in public
god, reminds me of the time my mum (who is ALSO singaporean) started talking about ‘it’s not cool to be white anymore’ and ‘white people have it so hard’
why does this happen lmao
I’ve been considering taking some form of therapy to address my mental health for a long time, but aside from the fact that it seems difficult to find a good therapist, especially one that works well with POC, I’m still concerned about the stigma that my mom and family in general seem to have about it. And its so weird. When I was younger I distinctly remember her being a bit more positive about getting treatment in light of how bad the relationship between my brother and me was back then. Like I remember her specifically saying that we shouldn’t hesitate to get therapy if it was something we needed.
Now every time she talks about mental health she talks about it just being a matter of having “self-control” and I really hate it. There’s been a couple of times where I’ll convince her that it isn’t that easy to deal with what we’re going through, but then a couple weeks later she’ll be back on the “self-control” talk.
