I have a urine drug test on Tuesday morning and last smoked on Sunday
I’m not a chronic smoker or anything, but I do it recreationally (because I haven’t had to take a drug test in probably 6-7 years at this point)
Is there any hope for me to pass? Everywhere online says I’m fucked
You’re fine if you can cheat but you need to cheat.
If it’s the kind of urine test where they let you go into a bathroom and wait outside, you can order some synthetic urine or find some in a head shop maybe.
Yup lol can’t cheat
I hate this puritanical shithole where people can be one drink away from alcohol poisoning on the clock while I lose a job for doing something on my own time
Death to America
I guess my only saving grace might be the fact that my metabolism is insane but that’s a long shot
If it’s not for probation I’m not sure its even legal for someone to watch you piss, while a urine pouch is probably the most sure fire route there are drinks that will purge your system of metabolites. Goto a local head shop and ask for a detoxification drink, do not say it’s for a drug test or they won’t sell it to you.
Or if someone is watching you, on them. If you’re fucked anyway, might as well go out with a splash.
I’ve never used real piss. Sub Solution’s maker sells a belt with a small tube and a reservoir that’s gravity operated which you may want to check out, the “incognito belt”. I have no idea what their “spike urine additive” is meant to do but maybe that’s worth checking out…
They ship overnight.
Yeah dude unless you’re on probation you can cheat. They can’t watch you pee for a work drug test. Just stuff it in your groin.
Ok so I took the test and might be alright. I had to go into a stall and empty out my pockets while the attendant waited outside the stall
My new supervisor messaged me on signal and said he’d authorize a new test if I failed this one, so any last tips?
unless they are watching you do the test just cheat
I’ve done this successfully at least thrice with the fake pee. Employers can kiss my ass. Only my doctor and my boyfriend can get the real thing when asked.
I just had one of my clean friends piss in a cup for me and I used a Turkey baster to put it in a water balloon. Done this twice successfully
Oh yeah, I did that once too, but I used a travel shampoo bottle. A balloon sounds risky, dang. Nice job.
This is purely anecdotal, and to be taken with a shard of salt because of where I heard it from, but: drink a lot of water. A lot. Keep drinking water until your piss is water. Because supposedly, if your piss is basically water like that it will void a urinalysis test and they will reschedule it.
Also death to America.
Didn’t read all the replies but here is how I used to do it.
Drink a lot of water the night before and day of. Don’t get water poisoning but get real close. You want as much of your piss to be water as possible.
Take a couple B12 vitamins a couple hours before the test. They will make you piss yellow even if it’s all water.
That said, you might still be fucked. I’ve used this method to pass a test in under 24 hours but YMMV. My metabolism is ridiculous.
Good luck, comrade.
To explain, the person testing you will check for temperature and appearance. If it’s too clear they may require another sample.
I went through a state-run program called drug court (you can have a little doxxing, as a treat. Afaik not many states have this program) and if you pissed too clear they’d make you give another sample. They didn’t observe us directly, so maybe that’s why. Someone just stood outside the bathroom and listened.
Refusal to give a new sample would result in a fail.
For the record I was 100% sober whilst going through this program and it’s probably the best thing that happened to me. I chose not to be a CI and it got me (relatively) cheap outpatient rehab. 13+ hours a week of therapy and real consequences to my actions. ended a decade-long opiate addiction. So I never cheated on their tests, just conveying my experience.
I did spend my teenage years doing through multiple, less punitive, programs, which is where I draw this experience from.
Please hire me to be the pee listener at drug court I am normal and can be trusted to monitor the audio streams
“Confusion, nausea, and vomiting are symptoms. Severe cases can cause seizures, coma, and death.”
It waters down the blood, diluting electrolytes. It’s a LOT of water. But it’s something that is definitely possible.
I have personally cheated a urine test by following the directions in Urine Trouble.
I did it by taking bleach with me in a contact rewetting drops bottle in my pocket, and then putting a couple drops of bleach in the sample. By BMI, I was overweight but not obese, so significant body fat but not extreme, and I was a daily (all-day) smoker.
It’s important to put the drops in after you pee in the cup - there’s a strong weird smell that happens when you do it the other way around - and to not put too much. You only need a very tiny bit.
I used it to get a job at a place that handled financial records and was very strict about testing.
