A couple months I went into Vermont to visit my sister. While I was there I got roped into watching my niece in a hair salon while my sister got her hair done. So I’m sitting in the salon lobby, bored as fuck, watching my niece and who walks in but Bernie fucking Sanders. At first I was kinda nervous and freaked out, I’d just kinda glance at him every now and then, trying not to freak him out. But then my fucking niece starts crying and fidgeting and shit and won’t shut up. So I’m trying to keep my niece quiet and not bother Bernie, when oops, too late, he gets up and walks over to us. He just smiled and stroked her hair, and asked me what was wrong. I said I didn’t know. Then he looked at me with those penetrating beady eyes and simply said in his deep Brooklyn accent, “she seems like she’s hungry.” Then he lifted up his shirt and breastfed my niece right there in the salon lobby. True story.
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