There are three massive wildfires near me on top of mountains trapping ozone. For weeks it’s been so smoky that opening a window for ten minutes risks setting off fire alarms. The “don’t cough in public or everyone will think you have pox” game is becoming impossible. Plus with the particulate matter in the air it’s just a slower form of pox.

As a test of their ability to hold the most powerful office in the world with direct access to thousands of nuclear weapons, both candidates will be required to download Skype, create an account, and configure the call correctly.

Trump downloads Realskypetrue.zip.exe and spends the rest of the night debating a ransomware scammer. Biden puts the laptop in the fridge and wanders into traffic because he forgot what the computer is and doesn’t know why he’s trapped in a strange school.

Geese do nothing but shit in parking lots. I should be able to drive around that parking lot hitting geese with my car and donate them to a food bank. THEY AREN’T DOING ANYTHING.

By now they surely have to have a functioning karmavirus ward in the white house, or at least enough special equipment for him. I know they have the surgical capacity for someone giving birth so they might even be able to get him on an ECMO there.

With him visibly having difficulty breathing on the Eisenhower balcony and his warlock doctor dodging the question on lung damage, I’m optimistic that it’s 1 or 2. He has so many cardiovascular risk factors and probably a history of strokes. Even if they use robocop medicine on him, his heart will be taxed and his arteries will be inflamed. That’s putting me on standby to buy an ice cream cake.

Yep. I remember watching the vlog of an ICU nurse early on in the pandemic. She was describing how patients would go from treatment to treatment either failing to respond or the response not being enough. Eventually it’d be supplemental oxygen, then the ventilator, then the ECMO, and finally they’d just drown in blood. Who knows how likely that is for him because all the medical data we have is bullshit, but that’s the natural course of it.

The Tracheostomy Masque of the Red Death

/r/mushroomgrowers and /r/mycobazaar for the spores.

I’m working toward becoming a fungiculturalist myself. It’s a fantastic hobby which will give you pounds of really healthy meat replacers for pennies. Oysters are like cubensis, very easy to grow. /r/unclebens is the easiest method to grow, spawning them onto pasteurised straw. While mycoremediation, the oil and heavy metal breakdown potential, is really neat it also isn’t practical for home usage. You wouldn’t be able to recycle plastic using them. However, I absolutely recommend buying a liquid culture of both blue oysters (very easy to grow, good for cold weather) and black pearl oysters (thicker fruits like P. eryngii but as easy to grow as P. ostreatus).

Yep! I personally buy from /u/mushies81 on there with good success. With winter taking away outdoor gardening there’s no better time to get into fungiculture, and it’s fascinating compared to plants.

We live in a very mycophobic society where they’re mainly associated with bad things, but there is a particular beauty to fungi. They’re closer to animals than plants so a colony is more like an ant farm than a house plant. Differentiating between good mycelium and contaminants reframes it so that mycelium is more intricate than any root system with a certain structural grace and swarm intelligence to it. The fruits are very alien-looking and shoot up so quickly that you can watch them grow over the course of a day, and they’re as healthy as they are delicious as they are exotic as they are cheap. Overcoming that fear will make the forests so much more alive to you.