charly4994 [she/her, comrade/them]
Suckiest Bunch Of Sucks is the only thing that comes to mind after something like that
It’s been 20 days of giving a shit again and minding what I eat. I think it’s also helping my mother a bit be less blasé about her own eating and health. I’m down either 8 or 16 pounds if you count my first weigh in as the night before or the first morning since I lost like 8 pounds in a day according to the scale.
Still been a struggle though especially as work drama has been making me want to stop caring but I’m worth more than that drama.
In some ways I think it’s what makes working with dementia patients the easiest, as long as you don’t know what kind of person they were beforehand, you just sorta see the disease more than them which makes it easier when they go off the rails and start screaming at you. What I wouldn’t give to see Biden get worked up on the debate stage, walk over to Trump and start hitting him because all of a sudden he forgot where he was and this man is yelling at him, extra points if he grabs a finger and bends it backwards, a favorite of confused old ladies in the hospital.
My mother signed me up for so many of those when I was younger because they offered immediate employment and then when I was placed on the call it was the shadiest sounding shit, then there were the non-scam but also scam sales rep things where they called you a manager, offered intense executive training to fast track you to the top of the org but you were just going door to door trying to sell some shitty product.
For some reason that I’m not sure of myself this was the week that finally hit right and I felt like I should start caring for myself again rather than just not giving a fuck and hoping I die in a few years as a result. Last time I gave a shit was probably 2019 but after getting fired and COVID and everything I just haven’t cared. I hope maybe I can keep this up for a bit and also help my mother with it as well since we’ve both been bad influences on each other for a while now.
I’ve gone a solid 5 days now limiting how much I eat to 2k calories when I’m pretty sure I normally average around 3k. Today I even stopped myself from just ordering out and rationalizing that it was probably close to my allotment left for the day. Today was more of a struggle though since I started getting lightheaded and ravenously hungry so I allowed myself a bit of chocolate and that helped me last until dinner.
How do people remember which white car is theirs?
I’m always taken a bit aback when people at work just go wild with slurs. You have the r-slur getting used just kinda flippantly for so much stuff where they could easily just pick another word, only had one person at my previous job really say it so this new job with like 4 people that use it is kinda disheartening. Also had a coworker use the f-slur when talking to me, they were quoting one of their children saying something along the lines of “X is for …” but I’m kinda visibly queer so the sheer gall to just go with it anyway was something new.
Then the conversations I overhear about politics every so often make me just never want to hear them since I’d rather just not know how terrible everyone I work with is, it’s easier to just maintain that professional friendliness when I don’t have the back of my mind screaming ‘THEY’RE HOGS BRAYING FOR THEIR TREATS OVER ALL ELSE’
I love how for the first time since I started this job I have a 2 day span off in the middle of the week timed perfectly to let me jump right in, but the bastards had to set it for the evening. Guess I’ll just play Rimworld and pick it up on my next weekend off.
