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MeowZedong
I think the most important aspect that changed my opinion of bike commuting from “a chore” to “time I look forward to each day” was choosing a bike that I enjoy riding.
Personally, the only time I enjoyed the aggressive stance needed to ride a hybrid or mountain bike was when I used to build jumps with my friends when I was a kid. As an adult, I’ve found that getting an English 3-speed from the 1970s-1980s with an upright stance (like a beach cruiser) was part of the key to me enjoying my commute. If I had to suggest anything to someone getting into cycle commuting for the first time, it would be to take some inspiration when choosing a bike from the Dutch or mid-1900s England cycle commuting culture, get a leather saddle, get a bike with an internal gear hub, and learn some basic bicycle maintenance.
None of this has to be expensive and there are many used, vintage bikes that are still quite serviceable and they easily beat the riding experience of contemporary commuting bikes.
Revisionism!
Everyone knows these days drones drop the bombs, not soldiers.
Give the soldier an Xbox controller and some medals.
The influence of private capital and capitalistic exploitation is just as prevalent for scientists working in public institutions as it is for those in private ones. This doesn’t just affect your work via the sources of funding and the ever-present risk of losing them, but it even tends to affect the direction of your scientific inquiries and stifles the types of data that are published and the types of papers that are written by such scientists.
As much as I wish it weren’t so, capitalism has sullied the scientific world just as much as any other part of our society.
I think another part of their concern with different isotopes was the source of the tests. The company responsible for testing is also the owner of the power plant. As shown so many times in the past, we can always fall back on our trust in parties with a conflict of capital interest.
Comrade, I think you could really benefit from therapy. Many of the things you are saying are reminiscent of similar thoughts and feelings I’ve had a habit of getting stuck in throughout my entire life. It’s a numbers game to find a good therapist without even approaching the problem of insurance and access to therapy, but the single most effective thing I’ve done.
Being able to talk through the struggles and contradictions in your mind is one of the first steps to reprogramming how you think about yourself. Identifying the source of negative ruminations is tough to effectively do on your own. Cognitive behavioral therapy is good, but you know what’s even better? Dialectical behavioral therapy. ;)
If you don’t have access to traditional therapy, finding a therapy group/community to join may be an effective and free alternative, such as Al-Anon. You sound like you feel alienated from those around you, but also from yourself. Community is part of the answer to this. It’s tough to open yourself back up, but it’s worth it. Take that risk to reach back out to people, reprogram your mind to treat yourself with love and kindness, and you will someday look back and be thankful toward yourself for those efforts. Would you be comfortable treating others in your life the way you abuse yourself within your own mind? I suspect not. You deserve love from external sources, but also yourself.
As an aside, even if you feel like your posts in capitalisminddecay are inconsequential, I can tell you they have been one of the most informative and fascinating parts of my experience on Lemmygrad. Keep up the good work. As hard as it can be in those moments, I find it comforting to know that at my lowest points the only way to go is up. Life will improve. It’s a journey filled with challenges and while each person has their own destination, travelling with company, with a community you build around you, makes that journey much more enjoyable.