Ideology [she/her]
spoiler
Reading through your story, I’ve seen it dozens of times before. That’s not to say that you’re not a unique or special person, but you’re not alone. All the things you’re feeling we all do at one point or another. I have too.
I’m all stoic and shit now but that comes with hindsight. Early in my transition I was a total mess.
It’s possible to come out of it if you have a plan and a support network. The plan won’t come to you immediately, and neither will the support. They take time to build. But you CAN build them.
You haven’t failed at life. For transpeople this nadir is society testing your resolve, trying to claw you back to cis-normativity. Most people who detrans do so because of this pressure. But once you pass through it, you’ll find your way of existing that works.
You can fight the cis by being your best self and finding a way of living that best suits you. I can’t tell you what that is, because I’m not you, but I know you can do it. You’re not alone.
mh
It’s okay if you’re not feeling your best right now. People who actually care will want you to know your sorrow is just as important as your joy. We’re not expecting to be entertained here and you’re not our entertainer.
Is it your family that’s increasing the stress or something else?
I love bread.
When rinsing between washes, just use water or also use conditioner and/or curl cream stuff?
It kinda goes by feel. You can use water if you’re just trying to do a surface level clean or use conditioner if it’s hard to run your fingers through it. Use shampoo when you’re oily/greasy or dusty. If your hair breaks easily when wet, you can use dry shampoo to extend the time between washes so you can maintain length.
Also, how do you find what products work for your hair? Like, just trial and error? Or is there some kind of methodology i could follow?
Companies try to convince you that it’s pure science that makes their stuff universally good, but really you just have to go by feel and appearance. A lot of companies, especially catering to white buyers, use silicones to create the impression of shiny healthy hair when really it’s just a coating of plastic.
It really is a trial and error thing. Everyone is slightly different and so what works for you might not work for someone else. If you find something that works really well, do research on the ingredients list, as you might be able to find a cheaper off brand or just bottles/jars of the ingredients doing the heavy lifting.
For a general guide:
https://www.realsimple.com/beauty-fashion/hair/hair-care/curl-types
These guys won’t even buy Apple products and cheer when some nerd hacks John Deere software and yet they want to own a device where voiding the warranty will likely financially break them worse than the divorce.
Cuba warns against sustained US-UK aggression on Yemen
The US and the UK have been launching airstrikes on Yemen to protect the interests of the Israeli occupation.
tips
Results may vary based on your curl type. It helps to look up your curl type and youtube videos related to your curl type because they’ll have different requirements.
But generally:
- Stick with wide toothed combs or brushes. Fine combs fluff up your hair and erase any definition the curls have.
- You don’t need to wash your hair super frequently, especially if you’re not sweating a lot. You can rinse without shampoo between washes and focus on using conditioner to maintain a healthier feel.
- Leave-in conditioners, hair masks, oils, and other related products can be used to keep your hair protected throughout the day and help it maintain its shape. Washing will strip some of the product out but not all of it, so repeated use will protect your hair from drying out. It sounds like you already do this, so I’d guess that what you’re using isn’t working great with your specific hair type. Hair strands have different shapes, densities, permeability, and scaliness depending on genetic factors and health, so you’re not going to have a catch-all product that works for everyone.
