Ladies and Gentlemen, it is currently a very delicate time in my life. Xi Jinping, the evil dictator of China, has stolen all 14 of my underage waifu body pillows, and I am in shock from the loss. It’s really a hard period of time in my life, as the chinese regime is now targeting me personally. I have had to take 7 different pseudonyms to avoid CGB agents who are seeking to capture and torture me, and on numerous occasions I have been smuggled across borders to avoid being caught by the globalist communists.

As of right now I’m typing this through a quadruple-encrypted onion Shrek goblin ring with five layers of wholesome chungus bitcoin blockchain shields. Despite this the plainclothes removed police officers are closing in on my location, and they are trying to take away from me my last vestiges of sanity. Please donate to me through the link below:

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