I’m 99.9% sure it’s a specific person who’s doing it just to be petty and I am so fucking irritated that someone would narc on me to HR for being on my phone during work just because I didn’t take kindly to them talking down to me like a dog when going over paperwork mistakes with me a few weeks back
I talked discreetly with someone I can trust about it and they were pretty shocked that I said they had reported they felt “unsafe,” when multiple people who know me describe me as a teddy bear. It was pretty gut-wrenching to think someone feels unsafe around me because of misunderstanding me because I’ve been through that before, but the more I think about it the more I feel like someone is trying to weaponize the HR process against me because they don’t like me.
Just another reason for me to get the fuck out of this shit job
I once got a complaint to HR that I insulted a coworkers masculinity because I said his shoes were cool. The guy then quit the next day and in his exit interview he claimed I repeatedly talked to him like he was a woman. All I can remember is when I was training him I might have called him “hun” or “silly”? I have no idea. I often call people stuff like goober, goof, homie, hun, bud, etc.
HR told me the entire office was laughing about it. I think maybe I accidentally gave the dude a kind of gay panic or something lmao
Yeah I hate it when people go to HR they are not your friend… They gonna resolve the situation one way or another. Kill them with kindness. It might take awhile, but eventually they will give up.
Until you escape just keep your head down by pretending you don’t even know who this person is (hope you haven’t told HR your suspicions yet… definitely don’t).
If this continues, every time you go in hr just feign ignorance, look like feckless workerbee and lie like you did when you interviewed for the position…about how you love working, and you love your team,the company… Yaknow the game. The good news about HR is they aren’t there for the complainant either and they just added another mark on their record (unlikely it is the first) as someone who doesn’t work well with others.
I won against my useless boss in her petty hr war by doing precisely this.
Oh, I’m not stupid. I discussed it in private with one of the only coworkers I can actually trust and I know he won’t blab about it to anyone, and the only other people I’ve told are my girlfriend and my older brother. The person in question I don’t really feel like I’m on speaking terms with anyway and I’ve been avoiding them for a while. I’ll just mask extra hard from now on and go completely emotionally dead unless I’m with a customer. Time to armor up again.
someone made an HR complaint about me for being on my phone too often and slamming down objects loudly when upset
The “someone” in question:
I bet this “someone” browses r/neoliberal and goons to IDF e-girls, inflation graphs, and farm animals.
I’m going to over a possible counter view, with the caveat that I don’t know your specific situation.
I’m not a big guy, in fact, I don’t see myself as a guy at all. Certainly I don’t think of myself as intimidating in any way. And yet, I’ve come to learn over the years that when I get upset/angry, people absolutely do find it threatening. It’s a hard thing to understand because it doesn’t match my self image at all, and it’s not something I can control. I feel like, “Who could possibly be intimidated by me?? I’m just a little nonbinary entity!” But for whatever reason, they do, and I’m in the process of learning how to adjust my expectations accordingly.
I’m actually pretty big, six feet tall with a big booming voice. It’s not out of the question that somebody who doesn’t know me could be intimidated by me. But I guarantee you the person I’m thinking of isn’t actually scared or feeling unsafe. Uncomfortable, maybe, since I can be moody, but we’ve worked together for years and they know I’m also a big fucking pussy who wouldn’t hurt a fly and in fact goes out of his way to rescue bugs from other people before they can smash them. I plucked a live bee off a coworker so I could place it on the flowers outside once.
Those people should drink a big glass of shut the fuck up juice, we are allowed to feel upset. Clearly they are :shrug-outta-hecks: and allowed to threaten your job to boot.
Nobody has threatened my job. It’s very kind of you to say, but I’d rather have a realistic understanding of how others perceive me, even if I don’t necessarily agree with it
I was talking about OP, and someone going to hr. Sorry if I wasn’t very clear, I was upset (and damn it you won’t tell me not to be).
Its just a very frustrating situation, as I know you know.
I definitely have this. I try to be understanding - I can’t know what everybody’s life experiences are and if I just happen to look and sound like an abusive parental figure then I can’t help that and they can’t help their response to it - but it fukken sucks.
Come to think of it my dog has the same problem. Some people have had bad experiences with big dogs and it doesn’t matter how much of a sweetie she is, she scares them.
