Im mostly just typing this out for myself, but I’ll gladly read any replies. No promises I’ll respond but I’ll at least see it cause im fucking constantly online.
Am I depressed? Yes. I work 70 hours a week, and my gas is still gonna get shut off since i don’t get paid in time to meet the minimum. I cancelled a date tonight because the idea of having to have 1 on 1 time, even with guaranteed sex, fills me with anxiety and get my heart racing in a bad way. I don’t even feel like touching my partner anymore. It feels too much like an expectation to me, something I just kinda do to make them happy. I used to have a high drive, but it seems to have just disappeared over the last few months like a switch was flipped. No change in my brain meds (Lexapro and lamotrigine), hopefully seeing my psych next week.
I have no desire to do anything these days, and everything seems like way more of a chore than it should. By “these days” I mean as far back as my ADHD ass brain can clearly remember. So less than a year but more than 6 months.
I don’t know what else to say here so I’m gonna end the post. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, don’t forget to like and subscribe.
dawg if you had the energy and interest to get sexy after working 70 hours you’d be a rare bird, that shit drains people. This isn’t on you, this is surely on the pressures and effort of 70 miserable hours of labor every week.
Fair, but this has been going on longer than I’ve been doing this work schedule (been doing this about a month, issues have been going on for longer)
You really need a proper rest, which a date would chew up. :/ Like a week of no work, low drugs (I don’t count drunk days as rest days personally… they do something but recovery ain’t it) (keep taking your meds tho), and low commitments. But that may not be feasible. Your mind is pushing away things that may interrupt sleep and loafing around.
this comment hitting me in the “no vacations in my adult life and no paid off days other than federal holidays for the past decade” extremely hard
I know some people that spend all their time working, and if they take a break they spend all their time stressing about “maximising” their free time with travelling or events.
I do feel like giving yourself a week and seeing what feels easy and natural to do without a schedule is a good experiment. If you’re missing gas payments though…
Thanks for the thoughts. Since I work my own hours at home, it already feels like I do nothing, if that makes sense? I’ll consider planning a day off when I make the money I need to to catch up on bills :)
It’s probably depression I am right there with you. I can’t even tell when girls are flirting with me when they spell it out for me.
Love, you aren’t broken. The world is broken. You’re doing your best to survive in it, and nobody here will fault you for going into survival mode.
Dude, you are one of the most love-filled people on this site. Everyone here thinks you’re great. That said, anxiety is hard to crack through I know because I get it myself.
Seeing a psych is a good idea, as it does sound like depression which can fuck with the things you mentioned. But my advice for what it’s worth is that there is nothing wrong with not being sexual all the time. Try to go with the flow and not think too much about what people think of you (easier said than done, I know). You are cool, you are nice, so leave the expectations behind because you are enough and your date probably agrees, otherwise they wouldn’t be dating you!
Best of luck, I know you’ll get through this.
