I suppose it makes sense. I have no close friends and I completely avoid social situations unless I have to be in them. It would explain why I always feel like the center of (negative) attention in any given room, or why I always feel like I’m annoying people or that I sound smug.
The doctor told me people with AVPD often have trouble understanding who they are as a person, and can’t latch onto specific identities, but I haven’t thought about that much. The pamphlet and stuff I’m reading online also seems to suggest AVPD has such overlap with social/general anxiety they’re almost the same thing.
Anyone else have experience with this?
I’ll be talking about this to my therapist now, thanks. Or psychiatrist? I dunno.
I love people and want to help as much as I can and for everything to be OK for everyone and for everyone to love me. I just feel a lot of times that I’m not cut out for this whole “socialization” thing.
If I hear someone laugh on the bus, I will assume it’s at me and shrivel up and check for bird poop.
If someone starts yelling in public, I will assume it’s at me. :/
Idk how normal this is.
Also, “alien v predator disorder”. I said it
I’ve often thought I have it but I’ve learned to avoid things less, and for me I think it’s more depression, anxiety, and prior trauma that causes my poor self-esteem than a personality disorder. But the older I get and more I read up on this stuff, I feel like it’s less like distinct things and more like a bunch of overlapping Venn diagrams, and in the end the treatment for these things is often the same either way. Lots of therapy, which means finding the right therapist and then exploring the right approach for handling problems.
As far as I can tell, the thing that distinguishes AVPD is that it’s a personality disorder, which has to meet a bunch of criteria (persistent, inflexible, not the result of trauma or another disorder, etc.) so it’s more difficult to mitigate.
As for how to mitigate it, what works for my social anxiety is the usual recommendations: box breathing (breathe in 4 seconds, hold it 4 seconds, out 4, hold 4, repeat) to slow your heart rate. The 4/5 R’s on handling obsessive/intrusive thoughts (recognize it’s happening, relabel it as unwanted/delusional/intrusive/whatever label is helpful, reattribute to symptoms of your mental illness, refocus your task/thinking, reappraise the thought later when you are in a safe place). Learning to just stop thinking. Learning patience and being kind to yourself. I hope you can find some peace, and find the right people to bring into your life. I know loneliness very well. A deep longing ache inside that waxes and wanes but never really leaves. It hurts and I’m sorry you have to deal with it.
for me I think it’s more depression, anxiety, and prior trauma that causes my poor self-esteem than a personality disorder.
same.
more I read up on this stuff, I feel like it’s less like distinct things and more like a bunch of overlapping Venn diagrams
also same. can’t afford to go therapist shopping though. too traumatized/mentally ill to work --> can’t afford therapist --> too mentally ill to work or afford therapy, vicious circle.
The 4/5 R’s on handling obsessive/intrusive thoughts (recognize it’s happening, relabel it as unwanted/delusional/intrusive/whatever label is helpful, reattribute to symptoms of your mental illness, refocus your task/thinking, reappraise the thought later when you are in a safe place).
where did you learn about this?
It’s a common technique for handling OCD and anxiety https://www.hope4ocd.com/foursteps.php
Just looked this up. Kinda feel like I shouldn’t have
Bear in mind that Dr. Google will always confirm you are a narcissistic sociopath with CPTSD and AVPD and AIDS and six kinds of cancer