Oh my. It seems like a shitload of otherwise progressive people have no qualms about the idea of a traditional marriage and the man retaining most of the control by default.
This makes me very uncomfortable because I have met some women who have internalized this idea (idk is it that patriarchy or am I overreacting?) which is just so weird to me.
Like, you’re a left-leaning person up until the point where you’re happy to be in a relationship with a cishet man who controls you now. This is society I guess 🤷♂️
i mean as you explain it that’s patriarchy and everyone has it acculturated in them to some extent, and aren’t going to be 100% feminist 100% of the time
but a lot of people have strange relationship dynamics that can map onto cishet standards without that necessarily being a coerced toxic thing. e.g. one partner being the dominant cook because they like it, if the cook is a woman that looks like a cishet thing, but the division of labor & norms beyond that category can be totally different.
I mean this post is vague enough that I could be completely off base but, are you sure you’re not misinterpreting? I think I know a grand total of one or two women like that, and even then they probably wouldn’t openly present their opinion as such.
wanting the trappings of a happy and successful heterosexual life =/= wanting/accepting patriarchy or male control in their marriage. They might say that they would never marry a man who would exercise such control over them, even if society does grant it, or they might have other explanations for their behavior, the only way to know is asking
Abolishing the nuclear marriage isn’t the same as abolishing the idea of a cishet marriage. Its a liberation of all types of relationships while removing the concept of the patriarchy. My wife and I are both cis but we have equal say in everything. Our kids even have their own autonomy relative to their understanding of how things work.
It seems like a shitload of otherwise progressive people have no qualms about the idea of a traditional marriage and the man retaining most of the control by default.
it’s not clear to me if these people believe this as a personal preference, are saying “that’s fine” as commentary on a 3rd party’s relationship, or as an claim of how society ought to be.
My wife and I are communists but that’s pretty much our dynamic. I think what makes it work is the fact that I, as the dominant partner, have made it a conscious focus and effort in empowering my partner through our relationship. I don’t want them to feel trapped or anything (even though in some regards they are trapped, but it is mostly due to our shared financial situation, which I’m sure a majority of you understand)
