READER BEWARE, YOU’RE IN FOR A SCARE!

One day a girl named Annie was walking down the road when she stopped in front of a bakery. “That’s weird,” She thought, “I’ve never seen a real bakery here before.” Her curiosity got the better of her and she entered the store. Wow! So much bread! The shelves that lined the store had all kinds to choose from. Even one shaped like the popular children’s character Shrek!

Annie went up to the counter to give compliments to the owner. There was only one person behind the counter at the back of the store with his back turned.

“Excuse me, sir?” She said, “Can you let the owner know I like their superior choice of breads? Especially the one shaped like famous children’s character, Shrek.”

“Oh aye, lass. I’m the owner. But I’m afraid yeh must be confused if yeh think Shrek’s just a cartoon character, yeh see…” He turned around, “I AM SHREK!” and he was.

Annie screamed and ran for the door. “WAIT!” Shrek shouted, and she stopped, “Sorry feh scaring yeh. Here, take me Shrek shaped bread feh free… As an apology.”

Annie snatched the bread and ran away.

The next day Annie was at school having lunch with her best friend Radical Randy. She was telling him all about what happened. “Yo dude that’s a bogus story, stop trying to psych me out, nerd.” He said. “Shrek totally isn’t real!” He made a stupid face but his sunglasses and backwards cap made it hard to read any emotions outside of “tubular”

“It’s totally true!” Annie said, pulling out the bread Shrek had given her. “Look at this!”

“So what? It’s just bread.” He laughed, did a sick kickflip on his skateboard, and then snatched the bread. “Haw, haw! Mind if I take a bite of the scary bread?”

“No!” Annie called out, but it was too late. “Oh nasty, that was some gnarly gross bread.” Said Radical Randy. Then suddenly he doubled over in pain, clutching his stomach. “Augh… Erk. Get… Out…of…Mah…SWAMP!” and then he started farting. It went on for hours and hours. Everyone started screaming. Annie didn’t know what to do. Then all of a sudden Shrek arrived. “He ate Shrek bread without permission and now he’s turning into Shrek! Here, this will stop it! Get him to eat this!” Shrek tossed Annie an orange and black striped bread and she shoved it in Randy’s mouth. He finally stoped farting.

Oh thank you, Shrek. Annie said. My friend is cured!

“There’s just one problem…” Said Shrek, “that orange bread was baked by my brother, Garfield…”

It was then Randy started screaming “I… HATE… MONDAYS!”

THE END