Recently started as a grocery person at a certain Amazon-owned store and was wondering if people here had any pro tips for inconspicuously slacking off, staving off boredom, corrupting fellow workers with Marxist thought , things to avoid, etc.
Idk about yours, but at the Amazon warehouse I used to work at they had gates that used lasers to open and close for health and safety.
As in, if the lasers path was blocked, an alarm would trigger and disabled your quadrant because it would mean someone was in the dangerous middle area where the automated robots rule over.
Well, I just stuck bits of tape with dust on the laser emitters every now and again when I felt my quadrant of the warehouse needed a break. The technicians come over to see what’s gone on, I’d shrug my shoulders, watch them play about on the computers for a while trying every little thing, then I’d discreetly peel the tape off again as they try some last solution so everything boots back up again.
If you have anything that you could possibly get some sort of special help for, use it. For me, I told my managers that I could only do certain tasks (the easy ones) because of a back injury I sustained in a car crash (I can’t even drive a car, and I’ve never been in a crash), but that I’d do my best in all other areas!!
In tandem with that, another thing is acting dumb but nice. To your managers, you are a dumb prole, a well meaning oblivioid. If I didn’t get work done, I’d be super apologetic and bootlicky. Make promises that the work will be done next time. One time, I was suspected of stealing (because I was in fact stealing), and a guy asked me to tell him what’s in my bag. I painstakingly pulled out bits of my packed lunch one by one, with a story as to why strawberry yogurt is my favourite, why oats help me stay energised on shift, and my mother’s special sandwich recipe (surprise - it’s cheese and ham between two pieces of bread). Eventually the guy just got bored and sent me on my way so he could get on with more important things.
Well, with the stealing I was on a little ladder packing the 10ft tall robots. The camera was behind me by a few metres, and about a metre above me. I just wore a big jacket, and stole bits in one smooth movement where it looked like I’d put it in the robot. That’s why I think they had a ‘loss preventions officer’ come to scout me out rather than bringing me straight to HR. I remember the loss preventions guy used to follow me round, so sometimes I’d lead him down a corridor, get to the point where he was about half way down it following me, then I’d suddenly turn on a swivel to walk straight back towards him, and every time he’d swivel with me and pretend he was just going about his business. Always used to make laugh. It was cartoonish.
Customers will ask you to check if you have an item “in the back.” Due to just-in-time logistics and strained supply chains, it’s unlikely that you’ll find much of anything. So just go to an employee-only area, check your phone for a couple minutes, go back and tell the customer something like “Sorry we’re all out, we might get some more next Tuesday.”
Hiding in the walk-in cooler (especially in the summer) is a time-honored tradition.
If you encounter an irate customer, hand them off to a manager ASAP. Don’t let the bastards grind you down.
You’ll hear the same dumb lines repeated by customers: “If it doesn’t scan I guess it’s free.” It’s your choice how sarcastic you want your response to be.
Stealing expired groceries rather than throwing them out is praxis.
If it doesn’t scan I guess it’s free.
the correct response to this is “it should be but my boss is cringe”.
Working the night shift was my favourite part when i worked at a grocery store. Plenty of chances to pocket stuff, and night shift crews are generally chill. Also, no managers or customers.
Got yelled at by the store manager for that when she found out, since she believed in keeping schedules unpredictable to “keep them on their toes”.
:jokerfication:
Refused to change it to the randomized schedules everyone else in the store got. Got demoted to day crew grocery, then manager’s son took on my job.
:jokerfied:
And less than one week after getting demoted and the manager’s son taking over, he missed that power had failed on most of the refrigerators and freezers, because he was sitting in the central office, gaming on his laptop and not doing the required regular temperature checks. The store lost about CA$100,000 in product, and even more in lost sales over the following few weeks as customers shopped at competitors for frozen stuff before we could restock. I had the biggest grin on my face at that news. Karma, man.
Yeah but I bet he got to keep his job because he was being sufficiently sadistic to the workers :guts-rage:
I was lucky enough to be union, and got consistent days off. And yeah, we got ti slack off, but the day our bunkers started to defrost because day shift forgot to check the temperatures, we were on it. Saved a bunch a bunch of product, got a paid day off, and because we were the place low income people shopped, managed to save the groceries they needed. Also, my shift lead always turned off the christmas music. Blasted metal instead, which meant we partied with the other night shift mall guys almost every shift on our breaks.
Everyone on the night crew got at least 2 consecutive days off each week, and always the same days for each person, which is even more important on night shifts than on day shifts. Got yelled at by the store manager for that when she found out, since she believed in keeping schedules unpredictable to “keep them on their toes”.
Jesus that is fucked. I worked 3rd shift stocking/truck unloading and sorting for a while and having 2 consecutive days off was so important! Any normal people shit (dr appointments, bank stuff, god forbid you have to a gov’t building for anything) requires you to totally fuck up your sleeping schedule, and then unfuck it so you can go to work without being a zombie WHICH TAKES AT LEAST 2 DAYS FUCKIN HELL
Bosses like that deserve things i probably shouldn’t say in the view of my dedicated nsa agent
Empty boxes are your best friend. Like in that video game from forever ago. An empty box that looks full? You’re on a mission and everybody needs to step the fuck back. You got an empty box that looks empty? "Oh shit, sorry, I gotta take this back to the compactor,"gets to be used to overly friendly customers.
Unless you do full shifts as a cashier you probably won’t be getting bored on a regular basis. If you’re doing fronting/facing and you’re not a person who easily gets into a Zen state that can be irritating.
Avoid drinking coffee or energy drinks unless you’re just dragging. Nervous caffeine energy will wind up with you going out and doing more work than you get paid to do.
Remember the phrase, “Non-mechanical hearing issues.” Its a way to get out of having to talk to people if you don’t want to hear their life story when in a somewhat noisier section of the store.
Figure out the “cat is on fire” procedures. Meaning, if you notice another worker that’s been cornered by a customer, what can you do to help them out? I worked at a store with an overhead PA system, and we’d page the employee by name and tell them they had a call on a phone line that did not exist. If they needed an excuse to leave, they had it, if they wanted to keep talking to the customer they could stick around.
Clipboards make you look important, looking at a clipboard makes you look busy. Double edged though, sometimes somebody will think you’re a manager or something and expect you to have answers you can’t possibly have.
Figure out who the stores “Bill” is. “Bill” being an imaginary employee/worker that gets to be the reason why something isn’t satisfactorily meeting a customer’s expectations.
Buyers get to blame stockers for why the shelves are empty, stockers get to blame buyers for why the shelves are empty. When there’s some big national or regional event, buyers and stockers get to blame that for why the shelves are empty.
I found that a decent pair of Etnies sneakers were long lasting and comfortable for being on my feet stocking/receiving grocery/chill/frozen. Probably any reliable brand of skater shoe bought from like Shoebacca.com will be worth the 50$~60$ bucks. Natural uppers lasted longer for me than synthetic. Looking for thick soles as gives some padding, will let the sole flex longer before cracking, and you WILL be stepping on nails/screws/glass so keeping your feet from being impaled is super important.
That’s a great tip for the shoes - my feet have been killing me the past couple days
I know insoles are “supposed” to help. But I’ve never had any that would 1) stay in place or 2) if they were the fancy jelly ones the “parts” would come unglued. So a properly fitted pair of thick soled sneakers wound up being more affordable and slightly more comfortable.
Another thing to think about… I found that having a few pairs of “toe” socks that I could rotate into my weekly foot clothing rotation did great at helping to keep blisters from happening where my toes rub against each other.
