The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love is a book by bell hooks about men, patriarchy, the relationship between them, and most importantly love. It’s a book that I wish I had read much earlier, and so I decided to start a reading group. I’m a couple chapters in but will be re-reading (well, re-listening) to the chapters as we go through the book. This book is an empathetic look at masculinity, and focuses on learning how to love.
This idea was spawned by comrade @Othello@hexbear.net after I mentioned that I had been checking out the book and played the first chapter on Hextube. There is no need to pick up a copy, comrade Sen has already uploaded the entire audiobook onto Youtube. Content warnings are generously provided by Sen at the start of each chapter. Let’s start with Chapter 1. Each chapter is only about 30 minutes long, so it’s not a long commitment. I wanted to post this to c/menby but that didn’t seem to work.
Uhh I don’t know how to lead a reading group so let’s start out with some questions:
-What stood out to you about this chapter?
-Are there any ideas that bell hooks introduces in this chapter that you’ve never heard of or wish you had heard earlier in your life?
-Are there any stories in this chapter that resonate with you on a personal level?
I can relate with a lot of what you said. I’m sorry about what you had to go through and hope you can find some comfort knowing that a lot of us share your feelings and experiences. I think it’s also really tragic that a lot of men don’t even realize why they’re so frustrated and struggle with their emotions.
I think I’m really lucky to have a male friend who grew up at least somewhat isolated from what you described. I always thought he was a little weird when we were younger but now I am really just in awe at how easily he can express himself to others without fear of what they think of him.
