They had an assembly where two cops came to talk about how cool and normal and good having a school resource officer is, and they pantomimed eating each other’s boots until they got kicked out. The Principal is extremely mad that I laughed until I started crying—when he told me that part of the reason for the suspension was for breaking the rules by refusing to take off their outdoor footwear.

I feel like a fuckup of a parent a lot of the time, but I guess we did something right.