I’m an at-large wob since the branch in my (quite large) city dried up after passing underneath some kind of minimum membership threshold. I pay dues every month out of begrudging respect for what they used to be. All they do is send me emails every now and then and a stamp in the mail each month.

I guess they’re a mixed bag. I’ve never met another wob in person, despite trying to get in touch with some of the locals. Someone on the facebook page said they’d get me in touch with some people with the General Defense Committee, but that was 3 years ago and I never heard back.

I’d be interested in seeing some kind of study on this, because my first instinct is to say the students in an intro class probably have an easier time agreeing with any given piece of information in front of them. Articulating a response is more effort. Since they truly don’t care either way, they go for the easiest route that will get them the grades.

Not to stereotype, but I only ever saw college students have informed, complex ideologies if that ideology was also their chosen academic pursuit, like polisci or philosophy students.

the qanon folk are going to have a fit with this

I make music and some people tell me I’m good at it. I think my alienation has killed a lot of my patience though, but I’m actually making noticeable progress.

Something I’m really trying to get over is this sensation that life is going to start “soon” and I’m in some waiting, transitionary period for something to start. Life’s right now and it took me getting older to realize it, which is one of the reasons why I got back into making music.

What do you think you’d need to start drawing? Motivation? Supplies?

How do you normally motivate yourself?

I’d like to see you do art if that’s enough encouragement. It’s possibly one of the best things you can do for yourself, since you won’t feel like the time vanished. You’ll have something to show for it once you complete a project. You’ll have something physical to keep you grounded.

I use Ableton Live for mixing/producing/programming, Audacity for recording or playing with samples, a few synthesizers, and guitars for everything I’ve made so far.

I don’t think I have ADHD (current therapist probably would have called it), but yeah, there’s weird time distortion going on. 9 years ago feels like the other day. Last month feels like an eternity ago.

People tell me I’m nice, considerate, and polite in person. If those are true, I admire those aspects of myself. I like that I’m at least willing to try things. I can recognize a problem in my life and make an attempt to fix it. I try to be humble and not think too highly of myself or get conceited.

I like to think I have a relatively high amount of self-awareness (e.g. if I’m making another person uncomfortable), but that could be from being so alone all the time.

I used to like my work ethic before realizing it just made me a useful tool to generate profits for my bosses.

What was the major issue for you? Shyness? Social isolation? Confusion about yourself?

I’ve never had a relationship, so I feel ill equipped to say if I’d like one or not. I think I really want affection, i.e. someone who could care for me and vice-versa. Someone who would say they truly like me for who I am and I could believe it. I was never close to my family and I’m not close in an affectionate way with any friends I have.

I also want to just get this annoying sexual tension in my head completely evacuated out of me. I hate how it plagues me.