Gay_Wrath [fae/faer]
vegan btw
The further in time i get away from my breakup from my ex, the more i see the red flags.
People really do hide their controlling nature until years in sometimes 😔Another reason victim blaming is shit. Like sorry i didn’t realize someone was hiding their worst from me until years later And when the person you trust most is acting like what they did is no big deal, it’s easy to gaslight yourself into accepting it.
CW mild references to non-physical abuse
spoiler
She literally said in text that she was taking money from me because i “deserved it” like what the fuck??? But somehow it’s taken a long time for my brain to stop making excuses for her and accept that was actually abuse. As was the other controlling things she did. Like the times she threw 8 hour tantrums if i so much as had a grumpy expression on my face, even if it was grumpiness from work… me being slightly upset at all triggered her RSD and then it became about calming her down for the next solid 4-8 hours after. it just became easier to hide how i felt than express any negative emotion at all. And then when i couldn’t control it, and show the very slightest negative emotion like sighing then she accused me of overreacting and getting too angry at her :| When she got upset with me for putting my elderly cat over her family, i defaulted to shutting down to try to get my feelings under control as to not show a single iota of emotion, as usual. But then she did something different, she started goading me and said “Oh i guess this conversation is over and i should go.” i lost my temper, sighed dramatically and asked “what do you want from me, go back in time?” and the she literally said “i need to be able to give you feedback without you getting upset at me” and acted really hurt, like i had literally like called her a slur or been really hurtful on purpose. When i had been unable to give her any sort of negative feedback for our entire relationship. The projection was off the charts.
When i got into my next relationship and my partner reacted normally to me being slightly upset with them, instead of berating me for my feelings and saying i was controlling them i was like ??? wait what??? it’s okay for me to share that i’m unhappy? You… actually want me to feel better and aren’t just going to make this about yourself? What the fuck
Land back
Tiktok isn’t an app for kids, i don’t want to be ageist - it’s for all ages and everyone can have fun on there. But the way tiktoker’s talk on tiktok and other platforms with their cutesy little euphemisms for violence and sex does make me think every time “Ah, they’re used to the kiddie app”, because it’s making grown adults be afraid to talk about adult topics.
This is just the fault of censorship and not the app or the users, but it is literally sanitized kiddie language and feels very out of place and hard to take seriously on websites that don’t have that censorship.
Being autistic like:
You should come to this arbitrary social event where your only function is to be there.
Surely no one cares about those social events? No one’s really explained why we should do this other than tradition.
If you don’t come to the social event, everyone will be mad
Why can’t i just be social when i feel like it?
this is called freeganism, personally i’m not okay with even free carnism bc it’s not like 99% would eat a dead pet unless starving, so it sort of reinforces that it’s okay at all to consume some species bodies, but i don’t want to start a struggle session about it. seems pretty harmless compared to the rest of carnism lol, but it’s still not vegan (IMO) to consume animal products when not needed. Dumpster diving is based in general so that part is cool though. one of the food not bombs i’ve been to uses a lot of food that would be dumped :) So i do know a lot of vegans that dumpster dive too, but they only come out with the plants.
Also i wouldn’t recommend it if you’re actually vegan or just consuming a plant based diet because you can get sick from eating dead body enzymes if you haven’t had them for awhile, throwing up and stuff like that :C
